Saving Me
by EleanorKate
Summary: Set during S1, Chummy is delivered of news regarding the unfortunate incident between her and Constable Noakes. COMPLETE
The tap on the door was gentle and from one side, Sister Julienne breathed out carefully and slowly, ordering the words precisely in her head that she shortly had to deliver.

" _Barely a month_ " she thought to herself mulling over the events of this last week as she waited for a response from inside. She was nervous for the poor girl that her admission to Nonnatus had come about with, well, with such a bang that it could very well mean she had gone before she had the chance to begin. It was such a shame that fate had decided to conspire in such a way and with them so in need of every pair of hands they could get.

Concussion had been the first concern; the consequence of the crash put firmly to one side when she saw the pale, bedraggled group on their return and two police officers behind them. Now, whilst she had certainly taken no decision one way or another, Sister Julienne did wonder whether the calamity may soon be taken out of her hands.

She knocked again, a little harder this time, yet still hearing not a single peep from the occupant of the room. Now that worried her. Concussion could to lead to all kinds and, with anxious heart she pushed open the unlocked door hearing the hinges squeak. There she found her, asleep – she hoped - curled up in bed with the window wide open blowing an icy breeze across the room that wound its way into the Sister's bones.

"Nurse?" she asked as she knelt down by the bed, gently squeezing Chummy's arm exposed outside the covers, thinking how cold her skin was against her hand. Sister Julienne could feel the goosebumps the young girl could seem to ignore as she napped. "Nurse?"

The sleeping midwife's eyelids fluttered open and Sister Julienne breathed a sigh of relief. "You have a visitor Nurse" the Sister continued softly.

"A visitor?" Chummy replied, bleary-eyed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as she carefully sat up, pushing the eiderdown to one side. "One doesn't think one is expecting a visitor…"

Sister Julienne stood up. "Perhaps you should run a brush through your hair and come down in five minutes". The poor girl still didn't look well; so pale and grey around the eyes from worry. "And I'd suggest you close the window too? I really do not want to have you develop a chill as well on top of it all".

Chummy nodded vaguely, still half asleep. She stood up to straighten her skirt. She daren't tell the Sister why she was sleeping with the wind blowing a gale through her room _. It's the cold, Sister. The cold. Right at this moment, with its tentacles spearing my skin, it's the only way one feels as though one exists._

Sister Julienne established a reassuring smile across her face as she watched Chummy pull the window tight and turn around again. Apart from anything else, the Sister really didn't want to have to dismiss her, but she may have no choice in the matter. Subject, that was, to what may transpire downstairs.

"Have five minutes and come down to my office" the Sister repeated, placing a gentle hand on the girl's arm, in the desperate hope the message was getting through. Her skin was still freezing but it was as though the nurse barely noticed.

Sister Julienne had seen it early; this young girl with so many pieces missing, chipped at and she'd seen those moments when she would stare off into mid-air and wonder what was ailing her. How she wished it would not come to this almost inevitable conclusion unsure whether the girl's soul could withstand very much more. Perhaps a few more months here and the Sister could embrace her under her wings and see if that ounce of support could make up for what was clearly lacking from those who should be closer to her.

With no more words and leaving her behind, Sister Julienne walked slowly down the long upstairs corridor, still mulling over her lot. She hadn't been surprised to see the Constable at the door by any means; half expected someone if she was being truthful with herself. There almost certainly had to be repercussions and if there were they may have to look for another octopus as Sister Evangelina had put it. How she wished she didn't though.

As she approached him, the constable still looked a little white around the edges too. He had always been such a pleasant young man in all the years she had known him and she imagined he would not be relishing having to come here. Was he here to warn her? Arrest her? Take her away?

Sister Julienne stopped by the top of the stairs and rested her hand on the newel post, taking a deep breath; the Constable still standing in the hallway with his back to her.

"I am sorry Constable Noakes" she began, walking down the stairs towards him. "I really wanted to assure myself she was well enough for a visitor".

"And is she?" he asked, turning around having been standing there whiling away the minutes and stepping from foot to foot as he waited; picking fluff from his uniform that didn't exist.

The Sister nodded. His question could be been aggressive; confrontational even, but now it was dressed with nothing but concern and for a moment Sister Julienne wondered if it was going to be alright after all. "I do feel she is fit enough. I have confined her to bed rest since the incident and it has done her thew world of good". They stood side by side. "I think my office is the most private place?"

He followed and, a cup of tea in his hand and unusually untouched biscuits on a saucer, Peter sat pensively opposite Sister Julienne until they both heard a knock on the door. "Come in" Sister Julienne said, the officer opposite her standing up straight, hoping that neither woman in the room noticed that he nearly sent the tea cup all over the desk as he placed it down. It wasn't as though he hadn't delivered news like this before - far from it – but why something somewhere was taking exception and causing that professional demeanour to slip he was not sure whether he wanted to address.

"Do you wish for me to stay with you Nurse?" Sister Julienne continued, seeing Chummy shoot a confused look over to the officer, who she noted, was standing stock still and hands clasped.

"There is no need Sister" he responded for her. "I shan't be keeping Nurse Browne long".

"Nurse?" Sister Julienne asked again, seeing the girl fiddling with the sleeve of her cardigan.

"No…" Chummy replied. "If..if …..if the Constable thinks it may not be necessary?" She had to face this on her own. It was her own doing that forced her into this position and she _must_ address the consequences. At least he was doing her the favour of being discreet about it.

"Very well…." Sister Julienne responded. "Perhaps Constable I make speak with you afterwards?"

Peter nodded a 'yes' as she walked away and he gestured for Chummy to sit down, both hearing the door click shut behind them. She sat, teetering on the edge of the other chair next to him, daring not to look him in the eyes.

"As I said to Sister Julienne, this shouldn't take long" Peter began shifting in his chair and clearing his throat as the words barely made their way from his mouth.

Chummy nodded quickly, her voice failing her entirely. Why on earth she couldn't string a sentence together she didn't know. No, thinking on, she did know why. The utter, entire and overwhelming lack of social capacity to converse with a man. It wasn't as though this one would look twice at her but that, coupled with the fact that she had been brought up respect authority, it made matters altogether worse. What she was feeling was surely her imagination but he did seem different when he gently picked her up off the floor, reassuring her at each moment he could that he really wasn't all that hurt. But no, don't be such a bally eejit.

"Is it about the accident?" she asked quietly. Silly question. Of course it was.

Peter nodded. "I've spoken to the Inspector about it and we have no intention of pressing charges against you".

She thought she misheard him. " _No_ intention?"

"None at all", Peter replied, trying to smile and reassure her, yet again, that he meant it. "It was an accident. Simple as that and when I explained what happened the Inspector agreed with me". It was not perhaps that 'simple' but she need not know the amount of persuasion it took the Constable to convince his senior officer that it really would be entirely unnecessary to charge her. He didn't _want_ her charged for reasons that, professionally, he would keep entirely to himself.

"Really?" she asked, not wanting to cry but she could feel tears prickling her eyes as tentative relief swept its way through her, embarrassed and upset at her behaviour and the shame she knew she should be feeling.

"Really" Peter smiled fishing under his tunic and into the breast pocket of his shirt for a handkerchief. "Here".

She breathed back her tears and took the handkerchief, dabbing in a most genteel manner underneath her eyes. Chummy wanted to ask why he was being so nice to her but instead she handed the white and blue material back to him.

"There'll be nothing more heard of it" he said, quite adamant about it when it came to the facts. "I will tell Sister Julienne exactly what I have just told you. The end of it. Over and done with. No more said". He paused. Perhaps that was a little overboard but he wanted reassurance himself that the message had been delivered and she understood.

"Thank you" she whispered, finding herself staring at his knees. "Do you want me to ask Sister Julienne to come back in again?"

"Yes, yes please" he responded, words falling out of his mouth too quickly. It might be nice to have five minutes more with her; talk to her properly, ask again how she was to hear it in her own words, but she clearly wanted away from him as fast as she could. Well that was obvious and not very much new there, he thought, as he watched her stand up and without a backward glance toward him, open the door and she was away.

Peter sighed internally. Whilst he might not have revealed his innermost thoughts just a few more minutes might have done him well to talk about more than the charges, or indeed, lack thereof. Assuming that of course that he words would come out of his mouth the way he wanted them to without making an utter idiot out of himself in front of a girl again.

On the other side of the door, Chummy stood; palm still resting on the door handle. She was confused and apprehensive and didn't see Sister Julienne walk up. "Nurse?"

"Constable Noakes would like to see you Sister" she spluttered. "He..he said…said they will not be charging me over the accident".

A wide smile spread across Sister Julienne's face. "Now that is good news" she whispered, taking up the girl's hand and patting it in comfort, noting she had warmed up a little. "Such very good news for you. For us all in fact now I say it".

As the Sister walked into her office, Chummy nodded quickly, agreeing with her wholeheartedly and half ran back up to her room the only place she had come to feel safe these last few weeks. So very nearly the place she had come to be dismissed from, yet here she stayed, only from the kindness of someone she barely knew who for some inexplicable reason seemed to want to fight her corner.

She sat on the edge of the bed; her mind spinning out of control at this turn of events. 'He never explained why' she thought. 'My own foolishness knocked him down yet….just the way I've always been. Ruining it all as usual…"

Chummy sighed out loud and saw the rain begin to blemish her window.

Outside on the steps of Nonnatus after saying his goodbyes to the Sister, the Constable stood. A drop of water hit his cheek as he looked up towards a window where he had seen her a day or so ago, staring out as though the world was on her shoulders. He had hoped she hadn't spotted him below her as he was really not sure how he might explain himself as he milled around on the bottom step when he should really be on the way back to the station. As the rain began to fall more earnestly, Peter took the bicycle that was propped up again the wall and pushed the little voice inside his head back in its corner where it was best off staying.

She had been up there though; for little did he know he had been staring up at her room and she had scuttled across to the window when she saw those first drops, watching him cycle away.

She must speak to him. She had to speak to him.

Whilst she might not understand why, she had to say 'thank you' for he might just have saved her life.


End file.
